


Confidant Case File: #XX - The Jester

by HeadlessChicken7457



Series: Confidant Case Files [1]
Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Gen, One Shot, Original Character(s), POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-27 03:55:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20753930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeadlessChicken7457/pseuds/HeadlessChicken7457
Summary: A meeting with a Detective Prince promises to make the next couple of months of Yuuto's life hell. Rated T for swearing.





	Confidant Case File: #XX - The Jester

The Jester

**September 13th, 2016**

I stared at the three pictures laid out in front of me, then to the ‘Ace Detective’ hovering over the desk I was currently sitting at, then back to the pictures again. I opened my mouth to say something; however, nothing came out at I slammed my jaw shut. I was currently sat in Akechi’s surprisingly bare apartment, the boy having called me earlier that day for ‘Organisation’ business. And when I say ‘Organisation’, I mean ‘Super-shady-conspiracy-which-my-dumbass-parents-got-involved-with-thus-getting-me-involved-because-my-parents-can’t-actually-offer-anything-substantial-to-said-conspirancy-organisation-thing’.

I mentally slapped myself to come up with a better description.

Shaking off the metaphysical impact, I looked up blankly at the previously mentioned detective. “You’re shitting me.” Was all I could muster; referencing how the subject of said pictures was a _goddamn cat_.

“No.” Akechi replied curtly, his eyes regarding me coldly. I gave a subconscious shiver. It was still baffling to me how such a… Boring popular icon could be involved with such a spooky conspiracy. Especially when most girls at my school always fawn over his fake persona. “I am not. This thing is more than a cat and is most likely a strong driving force behind the Phantom Thieves. I want you to report to me with as much as you can find on it before the end of the week, or else there will be consequences. Do we make ourselves clear?”

I nodded a little too fast for my own liking.

Taking this as a submission, Akechi nodded back with one of his fake smiles. “Good. We will contact you if we need anything else from you.” The boy detective gestured towards the door as I stumbled out of my seat, grabbing the pictures as well as my green baseball cap in a frantic manner. I bolted out the door before he could even tell me that I was dismissed.

Exiting the apartment block, I shivered once again whilst putting my hat on; despite the relatively warm September weather. At the very least; the breezy outside helped me calm down from the unwanted interaction with the at least slightly unhinged male idol. Despite my attempts, my heart did not cease its continued assault on my ribcage. Stumbling slightly, I found myself leaning against the apartment building as a means of countering my now-jellified legs.

It appears it was only settling in now just how fucked I was.

Not only am I being forced into stalking and writing my findings about a bunch of people who might be associated with the Phantom Thieves, a mysterious group of borderline criminals; I am also doing it under the threat of either death or being turned into a damn vegetable for the rest of my life.

Also, the first subject of my research was a cat.

How the fuck am I supposed to stalk a cat?!

After mentally talking myself out of going back up to Akechi’s apartment, I took the train back to my home in Yongen-Jaya. This was apparently one of the main reasons I was considered ‘Useful’ enough to not be murdered, like, immediately: I both lived near the prime suspect (Some kid called Amamiya, I think?) and went to the same school as him. It’s why I’m currently being employed as a rat with the integrity of a wet ice-cream cone. Goddammit, now I want ice-cream.

Having got off my train, I was slowly walking through the neighbourhood when a black blur dashing past me snapped me out of my now-ice cream ridden thoughts. I let out a surprised yelp, before realising what I just saw and whipping out a notebook and pen.

It was the cat thing!

I spun on a pivot, a rare act of grace from yours truly, and gave chase to the small animal. Luckily, it didn’t seem to be in a suitable state of mind to notice a bumbling, scrawny second year barely keeping up with it. In fact, upon closer inspection of the ground it had stepped on; there seemed to be wet spots. Tear drops, perhaps?

I frowned slightly at this.

_Subject appears to be emotional, showing almost human-like emotion._

I scribbled this down whilst I was still running, hopefully Ake-.

I slammed into something (Knowing my luck, _someone_) and my notebook and pen flew out of my hands. The thing I ran into gave a high-pitched yelp, revealing that it was not only a person; but also either a girl or a very large child.

Called it.

I stumbled back, lost my balance; and fell flat on my ass. To add insult to injury, my now-airborne notebook landed directly onto my head; earning a flat “Ow.” From myself. Remarkably, the other party remained on her feet; having only suffered a brief stumble. Noticing that I had in fact ran into a girl, I very quickly scrambled to get up. Feeling myself flush, I kept my eyes on my feet with my cap as a barrier and began apologising profusely for my misconduct, stupidity, lack of attention etc. when the other end spoke up.

“Oh, um, it’s quite alright.”

Her voice is quiet and sweet, almost childlike in tone; but also very suppressed and morose. It doesn’t sound natural. I look up slowly and am met with a girl that is… (Que my brain trying to look for a word)

I eventually settled on fluffy.

Mainly because the first thing I noticed about her is her hair. Which is very fluffy.

Like damn, what shampoo does she use?

I eventually snapped out of it and met her now questioning gaze. My flush intensifies now that I realise she noticed me staring at her hair for a solid five seconds. It doesn’t help that her eyes are a really pretty-

I slap myself mentally for the second time today.

Clearing my throat, I try to salvage the conversation to the best of my ability. “S-so, um… Did you see where that cat I was chasing went?”

“No…”

I gulp. Well, this was going horribly.

The girl’s eyes flicker to the notebook beside me. Before she asked, I answered the question in her eyes quickly; remembering the numerous threats Akechi had sent my way about maintaining cover, due to the risk of death thing I mentioned earlier. “Oh, that’s for, um…” I looked around the street as subtly as possible; before my eyes settled on a missing poster for a dog. “Identification! Yeah, so, like, I can tell it’s owners that I saw it and can descri-“ A single glance from my rambling trance told me that the girl was looking very confused.

“O-okay. Well I’ll let you know if I see it.” The girl recovered quickly, giving me a very sweet smile.

This did not help my nerves.

Luckily for me, my body had gotten over the shock of running into someone; and was slowly returning to actual working order. And with working order comes the ability to spot an opportunity. Giving her a crooked smile and ignoring all the voices in my head screaming at me that this an ultimately pointless endeavour. “Thanks, um…?” I drag out the ‘um’ in a ploy to get the girl’s name. If my dad taught me anything, it’s how to get ‘vital information’ out of a girl.

“It’s Oku-Haru.” The girl quickly corrected herself, making me faulter. Well, at least she’s humouring me. Even if it is probably a fake name.

“I’m Yuuto. Yuuto Seiko.” I would’ve held out my hand for her to shake, but my seemed to have gotten very sweaty very quickly. A shrill sound echoes through the now-night sky, indicating it had gotten far later than I had initially thought. I reached for my pockets, but ‘Haru’ (If that even is her real name) was faster, frantically searching for her phone with apprehension in her eyes. Eventually the phone was in front of her, the blue light illuminating her face. I would’ve taken the time to ‘enjoy the view’ had it not been for the straight up fear in her eyes.

“I-I need to go. Goodbye, Seiko-san.”

A braver man would’ve opened his mouth as she hurried away. A better man would’ve comforted this ‘damsel in distress’. Unfortunately, I’m not either of those. I watched her turn the corner and frowned to myself as I shoved my hands into my pockets. It wasn’t like I didn’t want help her with… Whatever the hell that was. It was more that I have my own problems to deal with. Most notably, a cat essay for a conspiracy.

Turning once again on my heel, I began walking back home; with nothing more than a forlorn glance over my shoulder.

Maybe if I was a better man…

**Author's Note:**

> So, uh… This is my first time writing in a while.  
I’ve had this idea poking around my head for a while, but I’ve never known quite how to approach it.  
Essentially, this is going to be a series of one-shots based on Yuuto’s interpretations on various confidants in Persona 5; with this being an introduction to Yuuto himself as well as his arc. Yuuto is represented by the Jester Arcana, the same as Adachi from P4G. This is because reasons.  
I think that about wraps this one-shot up. Updates on other chapters are most certainly going to be sporadic.  
Next:  
Confidant Case File: #01 - The Magician


End file.
